I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
