What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
