The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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