Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
