Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
HEβS PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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