So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
