We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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