Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
