That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
