it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
