two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
