butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
