I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize