From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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