Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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