This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
