I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
