Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
