i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
