i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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