The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
