I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
