My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
