She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize