i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
