Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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