The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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