so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
