I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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