I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Come share oat with me in your robe
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
