i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
