I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
