Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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