hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
