She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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