Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
