how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize