"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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