Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
