Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I need water and some morals
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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