Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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