I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
