party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We left an ass print on the piano.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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