This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
