So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
