if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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