Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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