so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize