so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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