my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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