grandma shit on top of the toilet
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
