It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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