He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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