Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
