he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
