I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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