seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
