Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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