Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
